Year Four, Thank you for being here.
One thing I’ve learned after four years of creating Chapter Harmony:
What if the goal isn’t to be consistent?
What if the goal is to honor your flow?
Consistency makes me think of a “perfect attendance record”
If 30% of the days you showed up not in a good mood, sick, tired, drained, etc. when you actually could’ve been taking care of yourself. Then is that really perfect attendance? You know?
Consistency makes me think of not using your PTO. All because you want to remain consistent to a company who would replace you in a second.
Even consistency in relationships aren’t real. The truth is, every day is not the same. Every day new situations will arise that will possibly make you respond or react differently than the day before. And that’s okay!!
I’m tired of faking for the sake of consistency.
I used to be so ashamed that I didn’t post consistently on Chapter Harmony. I wrote a newsletter in January 2022, and my goal was to write more, share more, and do more for Chapter Harmony. I wanted to share a new newsletter every month. Anyway, fast forward, I didn’t write my next newsletter until November 2022. Yikes lol.
Instead of forcing myself to create content when I didn’t feel like it, I rested. I allowed myself to feel all the feelings, and I waited until creating content felt easier.
I still go back and forth with myself, wondering if maybe I needed to practice more discipline. Maybe everything wasn’t supposed to be dictated by how I felt. Maybe I was suppose to do something’s regardless of how I was feeling.
But then here’s my next thought — why show up if you’re going to half ass it?
I do think there are things in life that we have to do, right? Regardless of how we feel. It must get done. When it comes to hygiene, your health, your well being, how you make a living, caring for a child or pet, etc..
But then here’s my next thought after that — Life is supposed to feel good. I think it’s less about “forcing consistency” and more about getting to the root of why it’s so hard to do what you love every day? Factors like working a job that’s draining you, being in relationships that are draining, being in a transitional period of life where you’re waiting for the next thing - maybe this is causing some anxiety, not being able to show up for yourself, coping with grief or a tragedy. Whatever the case is, there’s usually a reason for the resistance you’re feeling to not pour into the things that light you up.
If I quit my job and was able to live life on my terms, I’d for sure have consistent content for Chapter Harmony. I’d have another book written. Why? Because I’m using my freedom to do what I love, rather than rest and restore myself from a job or people that are draining my energy.
What would you do if you had the time and freedom to do it? How would you spend your time?
One thing I would like is for my life to consistently feel like Chapter Harmony. I want to be paid, loved, and rested consistently, so that I can show up in my purpose consistently.
I’m using the word “consistently” consistently to make a point. Stick with me lol.
For Chapter Harmony’s third birthday last year, I mentioned how I got a new job, one that honored me, one that made me feel seen and heard — and it did, for a season. I am grateful for that opportunity.
But, just like anything else that isn’t serving you, it won’t feel like that consistently, right? It shouldn’t. Or else we’d never grow into the person we’re supposed to be, and move into the places we’re supposed to go.
I think we’ll continue to be uncomfortable in order to not stay consistent, and to not stay in a place where we weren’t meant to stay at for longer than a season. Some people will just ignore that uncomfortable feeling and default to, “that’s just the way it is”
Eh.
The uncomfortability shows up when you’re unable to do the things that light you up, make you feel good, make you smile.
I do believe you have to make time for deliciousness in your life. But who wants to keep waiting for the weekend, waiting for the summer, waiting for that vacation that’s 5 months away. What if your life could feel delicious from the time you wake up to the time you lay back down? Every day. Repeat. Deliciousness.
What if it was less about the choices our minds tell us to make, and more about following our heart?
Consistency doesn’t mean productivity.
People consistently go to a job they hate and are at a standstill.
If you’re being consistent in one area of your life, due to following your mind, disregarding how you feel, etc. and in turn you’re now no longer consistent in another area of your life — the area that lights you up. What needs to be adjusted?
Reflect on what this period of inconsistency is teaching you.
What needs to stay? What needs to go? What’s the next step? It’s okay if you don’t know.
This is just a gentle reminder that you can always change your mind. You can always change the plan and rewrite the vision.
Meanwhile, honor your flow and how you’re feeling.
Then thank yourself for the grace to do so.
Every year, I’ve released new merch for Chapter Harmony’s birthday. I was thinking so hard about this and nothing felt right. So in honor of not forcing anything for the sake of consistency — that’s it. That’s the message, lol.
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Writing stories and content advocating for Black women deserving of their fairytale ending still makes my heart flutter. After four years, Chapter Harmony still lights me up. A year later it doesn’t quite look how I want it to, and I don’t feel like the goals have progressed as far as it should’ve. But here’s the thing — I still have a lifetime to go to figure it out, and I’m okay with that.❤️
To healing, growing, loving, building.
I am so grateful to be here.
Thank you for being here with me too.
Xo,
Sending you all my love
– Ryen