I am magnetic to the love, support, and community meant for me.

On reframing 'stranger support,' choosing aligned relationships over misaligned expectations, and flirting with self-devotion.

My eyes gently shut, and out I release the deepest exhale. I’m envisioning myself in flow state, full of gratitude. Content. I imagine a bright white light surrounding me. I can feel the magnetism from the light, smoothly vibrating from my skin. I visualize love coming toward me, gentle and tender. Support wrapping around me, filled with encouragement and genuine joy. I see my community lifting me up, advocating for me, and encouraging me to reach higher and higher.

This. Is. Easy.​

I am magnetic to the love, support, and community that is meant for me. My people find me with ease. We support each other with ease. Loving on my people and my people loving on me is easy. This is what I believe.​

Believing in your own magnetism is part of flirting with self-devotion. When I devote myself to believing I am worthy of aligned love and support, my higher self responds with creativity, with ideas, and with the people meant for me.

I’ve seen lots of discourse around “stranger support.” The idea that strangers support you on social media more than friends or family. Could I offer you a different perspective? These aren’t just strangers; they are aligned people who are attracted to what you are doing, creating, showing, or saying. This is not just a stranger supporting you, but an aligned individual who met you, because that is who your content was created for. And from that perspective: well, yes!

If I believe I am a magnet to love, support, and the community meant for me. That means:

My content is meeting the people it was made for.

My gift is meeting the people it was made for.

My business is meeting the people it was made for.

My words are meeting the people it was made for.

Always.

So yes, an aligned individual may support you more than a friend or family member. That is okay.

When Titles Need Adjustment

I do think we give titles to people who either no longer have the capacity, or have never had the capacity for the weight of the expectations of said title. Titles support managing expectations.

Flirting with self-devotion means being honest about who actually has the capacity for the titles we’ve given them. It means loving ourselves enough to stop forcing people into roles they can’t fill.

A friend is someone who agrees to be in a mutual relationship with you, a relationship likely rooted in love, support, and community.

We obviously don’t choose our family the way we choose friendships. And I don’t know about you, but I have fifty’lem family members, some I haven’t spoken to in months, or even years. So no, I am not expecting anyone to support or engage just because they know me. However, there are family members who intentionally choose to support and be in community with you, and vice versa, those we hold close.​

Let’s be clear. You don’t have to have a lot of close friends and close family. Some people collect people and don’t nurture relationships. Flirting with self-devotion requires quality and alignment, not quantity, just for the hell of it. Flirting with self-devotion requires you to foster and nurture relationships, which takes time and intentionality. It’s necessary.

The Social Media Creator vs. The Social Media Consumer

Every time you engage on social media, you are either consuming content or creating content. Neither is better than the other. However, it is important to remember there are two different lenses. The person who is solely consuming social media content is likely passive or disconnected from the creative process. Not a bad thing at all, just an observation that supports managing expectations. The person who is solely consuming content could very well be engaging with other creators, the ones who they are magnetic to.

Gentle reminder: don’t take it personally. They don’t have to engage with you.

Usually, the discussion around strangers supporting you more than friends is rooted in hurt and in feeling like a mutual relationship is not reciprocated.

When I think about a close friend or close family member in my life, someone who agreed to a mutual, intentional relationship to love, support, and be in community, self-devotion asks me to be honest with myself:

Do we show up for each other offline? Nurturing relationships requires more than passive social media engagement. If this is someone who’s solely consuming content, am I showing up for them offline?

Am I comfortable with sharing my needs with them?

Am I asking for their support?

Am I asking for their recognition? Or to be celebrated?

Did I communicate this need or expect it to be obvious? Am I open to communicating this need?

Am I open to the thought that some people don’t view social media through the same lens that I do?

I shared with my family that I was so excited to create content and my mom’s first response was, “Let us know how we can support.” I responded, “If you see my content on your feed, you can just ‘like’ it!” My mom then proceeded to create a TikTok account and ‘like’ every single one of my posts she missed.

Your aligned community wants to show up for you; they just may not know how. Self-devotion is knowing when to reach out your hand and ask for help.

Are you craving more real-life conversations, more face-to-face connections? The opportunity to connect and share your needs with your community: share about your life, what excites you, and what you’re looking forward to, as well as listening to understand the needs of your community and what excites them, will always remain important. How can you show up for each other on and offline?

I was discussing my idea to release a handful of signed, limited-edition copies of my book with a group of close friends. One friend offered ideas for how to label the book as a limited edition, while another friend offered marketing advice. One asked to please share the link with them before I share it on social media, so they can ensure they get a copy. That’s how confident my community was that the limited-edition copies would quickly sell out.

Remember, we are discussing aligned close relationships here. Anything else is not worth rattling the brain, baby.

If support is something you’re asking for and not receiving, and the relationship no longer feels reciprocated, then we go back to the beginning and redefine the relationship titles in your life. Tough, I know, but you deserve alignment.

If someone doesn’t have the capacity to love and support you in the way that you are loving and supporting them, we gently shift our focus to the love and community around us that is.

Self-devotion is being clear about what you need, so you can ask for it.

If you do have an expectation about how you can be supported online from close friends or close family, all you have to do is ask.

Release misaligned expectations from people who are not attracted to your work, honor aligned support (on and offline) from those who are, and stay magnetic.

Flirting with self-devotion is the practice of trusting yourself, asking for what you need, believing you’re magnetic, and choosing yourself even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially when it’s uncomfortable.

You are a magnet for the love, support, and community that is meant for you. If you continue to show up, they will continue to find you.

You are deserving of the same love you so generously give. I promise.

If this resonated and you are craving more practices like this: meditations, reflections, and tools to manifest the life you deserve, check out my debut book, Creating Your Chapter Harmony: A Guided Journey to Manifest the Life You Deserve.

photo © Nelson Ikheafe