Trusting That Feeling!
Oo, that feeling.
That feeling when you know you’re supposed to jump into something, head first, the bright green light urging you to GO, and to not only go, but to go NOW.
That feeling when you know when you're supposed to stop. When you’re supposed to halt in your tracks. Don’t pass go. Don’t collect $200. Don’t move. Just. Stop.
You know the feeling.
Some call it an intuitive feeling, a gut feeling, a feeling where you just know.
Story time.
I was so hesitant about quitting my job, logically. If you’ve been following my journey for a minute, you know I used to be the Queen of Jumping out on Faith! ‘Faith it til ya make it’ was my middle name! Though, I’ve always landed on my feet, I knew at this moment in my life I didn’t want to become even more anxious as I awaited my landing. I knew this time I didn’t have the capacity to quit without a plan. Also, I didn’t have the capacity to create the plan either lol.
This job was almost perfect.
Great pay, unlimited PTO, I worked from home. It was easy for me. Though I was still so unhappy. I didn’t feel seen, I didn’t feel heard. I didn’t feel important there.
Sidenote, I did have my own things going on in my life that made me feel important and purposeful. So to me, weighing the pros and cons, I figured, eh, I can ignore the way I was treated, and I can just collect my coins and go.
Until weeks passed… then months passed. My almost perfect job somehow managed to make my world feel smaller and smaller.
I needed more time off to recharge.
This job was draining everything out of me.
I kept telling myself, “girl, this is EASY, get it together. We can do this!!” I remember thinking there’s no such thing as a perfect job anyway, and surely everyone is walking around wishing there was something different about their place of employment. Plus, I knew I didn’t want to be a full-time entrepreneur either. Everyone hated their jobs, right? So please, Ry, for the sake of everything good, GET IT TOGETHER!
More months passed and I no longer had time to do the things that lit me up. Anytime I had a free moment, I needed to use it to recharge my energy to get ready for another day at work. Capitalism is a vicious cycle, boy I tell’ ya!
Sunday’s were SCARY. A day that was supposed to be full of REST, became a day full of anxiety. I wanted to escape on Sundays. I needed to get every ounce of rest and quietness that I could to prepare for all hell on Monday. Because the thing about my almost perfect job, since I didn’t feel seen or heard…it slowly became an invisible hell.
I kept telling myself, but you’re working from home, it’s okay. But your bills are paid, girl! It’s surely okay!
My Monday morning alarm would rock me out of my sleep. The semi-panic attack that was brewing before I closed my eyes the night before was surely a full-on anxious wreck by the time the clock reached 7 AM. I dreaded that walk from my bedroom to my desk.
I would think of the saying, “the grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it,”
Except I hated this season. It felt like I was trying to grow beautiful roses from a dry patch! There was no amount of water that would make this grass green, chile.
Anyway, I kept ignoring that feeling. I would take off weeks at a time, abusing the hell out of my PTO. But no amount of days off would allow me to go back to work feeling rested and excited to be back there.
Earlier this year, I had my quarterly review with my managers and one said, “You’re literally the calmest person I’ve ever met,” and the other said, “The truth is, people genuinely enjoy working with you.” I ended up getting a raise after that conversation.
At this point I’m thinking, maybe it’s me? Maybe I’m being a little dramatic. Because sis was still anxious and unhappy.
Get.
It.
Together.
Ry.
It took me a minute to really digest their comments. If I’m giving this job the calmest version of myself, despite everything that's being thrown at me. If I’m such a delight to work with. Why don’t I feel that way about them? Why don’t I feel like this is a calm working environment? Why don’t I genuinely enjoy working with these people too?
I’m giving them that of me. Don’t I deserve the same in return?
Sometimes I think God will show us two things – how good it can get when we trust, or how bad it can get when we don’t.
The grass is greener when you put yourself and how you feel first. Trust that. When you believe there's more, then that is what will be – MORE. Things can and will always be better, bigger, more abundant, easier, more peaceful, etc. when you’re following your gut and your heart’s desires. This goes for that job, that relationship, that friendship, that city you’re living in. Whatever the situation is, believe that life continuously gets better and better. Because it does! High favor is your birthright! Trust THAT!
I can go on and on about how quitting that job, putting myself first, knowing from the bottom of my heart that I deserve all great things - great pay, great benefits, and a great working environment – that I will get that. I don’t have to settle for a job that doesn’t treat me with kindness and respect just because I’m getting good money. I deserve it all!!!!!!!
Because at the end of the day, the way I was treated mattered way more.
Without sharing too many details – the grass is fo’sho greener on the other side.
If you’re feeling like something is almost there, almost perfect, or almost just right. Remember what Brandy said, 🗣️ ALMOST DOESN’T COUNT !!
God is sincerely waiting for you to believe that life can be GOOD.
Ooo God, show me how GOOD it can get (!)
Show me how abundant it can get (!)
Show me how peaceful it can get (!)
Show me what high favor looks like (!)
And so it is! Sending you all my love.
Xo, Ry
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Oh, btw, are you ready for some new merch? I know it’s been a minute. But as you read above ^, I’ve been a little burnt out lol! I can’t wait to share more about our new High Favor collection.
Available July 17th, more details to come! 🤎