'I AM' the Evidence of Things Not Yet Seen: Desire is Proof Enough

I sat there, waiting for the banker to enter her office. A Small Business Banking sign was thumbtacked to the wall. Her desk overflowed with folders full of papers. I scanned them gently, wondering what other business dreams she made come true today.

She entered and asked,

“So tell me about the products you’ll be offering.”

My stomach fluttered. My leg lightly tapped up against her desk.

“Books,” I said, fidgeting with my nails, “I am self-publishing my book, and I need to open up a business bank account.”

Just another thing added to my ongoing to-do list, thanks to my Google search: “How to self-publish a book?”

The more questions she asked, the more my brain spiraled. What the heck is going on? How did I take it this far? I have no idea what I’m doing.

“What’s your projected revenue?” My face was puzzled. “Just a range,” she shrugged, her eyes focused on the bright monitor.

“Honestly, I have no idea. I’m hoping I sell one hundred books and sales just continue to grow,” I said plainly.

She continued to ask more questions: what the book was about, and how long I had the idea.

Then just like that, it was finalized.

Before I left, she handed me a folder with my account number and information about the bank. I walked out of her office and exhaled before getting into my car. I couldn’t wait to nurture the seed I planted.

I felt like Sanaa Lathan in Love & Basketball, in her head as she traveled down the court, “Just get there.” This process had already proven to be a learning curve, so if I could tackle each lesson one by one, I knew I was one step closer.

I’m reminded of the desire that first sparked in my second-grade homeroom class. I am a writer. I’m reminded of the desire that lit me up during a creative writing class in college. I am a storyteller.

I could wrap my head around the idea of writing.

I could even wrap my head around the idea of finishing the book.

But I knew nothing about the publishing process. I didn’t even know what I didn’t know. I was only sure of my pulsing desire to bring this idea to life.

I was taught to have the business plan before the business, to have my i’s dotted and my t’s crossed before sharing, to do the research first, and to wait for a clear sign. But what if desire is the sign? What if desire is proof enough?

I listened to myself. I followed my curiosity. I took the first step.

Gentle reminder: your I AM is chosen. I believe it’s chosen the moment desire arrives. You can decide to shift an old story to a new one at any point, at any age. But choosing and claiming your I AM doesn’t mean the doubt instantly disappears. You may be mid-execution and suddenly think, maybe this isn’t for me. Maybe I bit off more than I can chew.

Could I offer you a different perspective? What if that feeling means you’re exactly where you need to be?

The declaration comes before the certainty. Always.

Self-publishing was way deeper than just uploading a manuscript to KDP. A friend appeared almost like an angel, with knowledge I didn’t know I needed. What I thought was simply adding a file to a dashboard became building an entire business, an LLC, an imprint. Looking through nearly every book in my apartment, comparing formats. Attending workshops, webinars, and masterclasses. Google and I were locked in. I remember thinking, I know nothing, but I’m ready to learn everything.

I chose researching what I didn’t know over giving up. I chose figuring it out over waiting until I felt ready.

Desire.

Declaration.

Devotion.

I’m reminded that what’s for you will absolutely miss you if you let it. The universe can only meet you in motion.

If I show up as an active participant in my own life, resources will meet me and support will find me.

When I think back to where my I AM began, and the women who came before me, ​​I know my grandmother and my mother had a tapping leg about something too. Though anxiety crept from their doors to mine, their tapping legs didn’t stop them, so I knew I couldn’t let it stop me.

It’s okay to show doubt to the world; we’re human, but even in doubt, even when your voice trembles, you must keep moving.

We’ve been taught to figure it out first, then claim the identity.

Gentle reminder: desire is proof enough.

Claim the identity first. Then figure it out.

Maybe the banker saw my nervousness. Maybe she felt her desk vibrating from my tapping leg. Maybe those same traits made her call me months later, completely catching me off guard, to see how my book launch went, to check in, to flag perks she thought I should know about. Thanks to her follow-up, there were things that I overlooked and was appreciative she brought to my attention. So even the initial doubt ended up working in my favor. Another reminder that resources, support, and people will meet me in motion.

What’s for you will absolutely miss you if you let it.

When you move, things will move for you.

When you claim it, it comes.

My desire is enough.